When someone takes the "wrong direction"

You may see it happen every now and then, especially within your circle of friends and relatives: someone takes up some "wrong" habits: he or she no longer lives by the familiar rules, picks up an extreme point of view, makes a huge life change, becomes an alcoholic etc. By the way, this also applies to people who become more involved with personal awareness and pity the people who do not follow the same road.

A very common reaction of personalities now is to judge the other person to be somewhat insane, and that's it. Now that is an effective way to shut the other person out of certain aspects of your life. If the person is very close to you, then you can use it to start worrying, try more or less subtle to change the other person "back to normal", and you will of course not forget to show them your disapproval, more or less obvious.

Now there can be quite some gifts for you in the "insane behaviour" of someone else, and I will mention three of them. One: they make it clear that your values and standards are not a truth in themselves. Now what is it really that makes you uncomfortable with the other person's behaviour? Second, when you meet an extreme point of view, it is very easy to see that a point of view in itself is a problem for which your personality cannot come up with a reasonable solution. And third, you become aware of your hidden expectations of how the other should live, and it offers you a clear mirror for these values and standards.

In all these situations there is work to be done for you, work in the field of facing the values and standards of your personality and the judgments it makes with them. Facing them and no longer strengthening them is a way to decrease their impact on your life. It is your own fears that you are about to face: for example fear of judgment, fear of being without any income, fear to not live up to other people's expectations, fear that you are "not good enough", to be alone, to loose your grip on the world, for unpleasant situations, for damage to your body, for illness etcetera.

Now there is another way to deal with this: focus your attention on your perception of the other person and forgive him that he does not meet your expectations. And every time that you find yourself judging the other person, ask your inner Self to do that for you (and since your inner Self does not judge, you have broken the vicious circle here).

Your inner Self is the place in you where you are not really separated from other people. Now the better you can get in contact with that aspect of you, the easier it will be for others to recognize it in you. Your trust and acceptation in someone who goes through what is seen as a difficult or confusing period of his life, not because you strengthen his points of views but because your faith in the inner Self of the other, is a source of inspiration that should not be underestimated. However, there is no prediction of the outcome of this. Some people simply need extremes in their lives to become aware, and others only the smallest amount of input, and most people are "middle of the road". Do your own homework in these situations and have faith in the idea that this is the right way for the other person, even though from your point of view it may seem like a diversion.