Rejection

When you are rejected your personality now knows for sure: you are not good enough, you do not live up to expectations, you are not as good as other people had hoped. The whole concept your personality has built to be "you" is judged unacceptable by someone else. The penalty this includes, is that you are somehow excluded, wholly or partially.

That hurts. It seems to give the other person some kind of power over your life, because some parts of the relationship are now closed or remain closed. And your personality has, depending on his preferences, various ways to deal with this: put it into perspective, attack, trying to fit in, reason your way out, withdrawal, shut yourself off, get rid of the feelings through talking, sporting, hiding, projecting it onto your body etc.

Rejecting someone means that you judge something that you perceive in someone else as unwanted, unpleasant or likewise. That makes it a judgment, which is the working space of your personality, whose goal it is to make your experience of the world as pleasant as possible. People or situations that undermine its authority preferably are pushed away, undermined or defeated.

Although when you are rejected you are likely to experience some consequences of it in your everyday life, like when you do not get a job, or a loved one or relative more or less disappears from your life, that does not mean that the judgment has any power in itself. Rejection only tells you that the other person has chosen to strengthen his personality, and temporarily forgot about his inner Self, thus at the same time overlooking the inner Self of the subject of its attention. The personality of the person who rejects is also looking for pleasant experiences and safety, and obviously you are some kind of threat to that or do not have what it takes to live up to those standards of his personality.

Concentrating on the world of personalities is a lost battle in advance, because in there you are always wrong or mistaken. Considering someone's rejection as real, limits yourself and the person involved to the world of personalities. Become aware that it is your personality who addresses power to the other person, and as a reaction on his rejection, judges him. So you are doing the same, only use a different label for your reaction. Stop this vicious circle. Let the pressure out that your personality has built up as a result from interpreting the rejection, but do not believe that it has a meaning in itself. Feel the unpleasant feelings, but to not address any consequences towards it. Forgive the other person, and let it be, do not fall for the temptation to start judging him in return, or trying to understand it, or prevent it from happening again.

Assume that the effects you seem to notice in your life, are good from you, viewed from the perspective of your inner Self. They are no more than fantasies of your personality, making you believe that your relationship with that person should work out this way, or that you should have had that job.

The closer your relationship with the person who rejects you, the less possibilities you have to hide the unpleasant feelings that accompany this. So the other person gives you a unique opportunity to deal with the subject of rejection in a very intense way. This too applies for example when you are rejected time after time during job hunt: it gives you the opportunity to practice dealing with rejection by letting go time after time.