Ask for forgiveness or confess something

It is likely to happen regularly that your personality sees asking for forgiveness as a logical solution: you tell the other person that you realize you have done something wrong, and the other person now forgives you. The convenient part of this solution is: the tension this situation caused within you because you believed you had done something wrong and which is now likely to be repeated mentally over and over again, can be diminished or even almost disappear when one of the usually directly involved people (but it can be somebody else as well) now introduces a different judgment, namely one which tells you things are not as bad as you made yourself believe, the situation no longer should be cause for you to blame yourself and 'thus' feel guilty: the consequences now are not (as) bad as you believed.

For your personality it usually requests quite some courage in order to openly admit that you have done something wrong, and at the same time the personality of the other person involved often is not that good in forgiving (he is likely to have judged you wrong as well and now has to find a different solution to this) and has to do a lot of work now also. The expectations of the personality who confesses are, that his honesty should be logically honored with forgiveness, and this often turns out to be a new source of tension, namely when the other person does not want to give you this. Since in that case, you are likely to experience yourself as a loser who has weakened himself in front of this person who now lets you stay there in your weakened state, you will not be surprised to notice your personalities' almost guaranteed reaction to this through attacking the other person once again, be it in your thoughts only.

In this way, you find yourself dependent on somebody else and whether or not this person is willing to forgive you, for you to be able to break the vicious circle in which your personality had held you prisoner. On top of that, you are likely to find yourself still repeating the mechanism of judgment over and over again, since it is the same situation, only now a new standard is added (it was bad, but that is over now).

Things can be really different as well. Namely through not only taking responsibility for what happened yourself (which you obviously were prepared to do more or less already), but also decide to forgive yoursélf. Actually, that is the most logical thing to do: since it was you who declared yourself guilty (with or without the help of other people), you also are the most obvious person to undo this. Truly forgiving yourself is not about first declaring yourself guilty and then forgiving yourself, it is about no longer believing your judgments to be truths in themselves. In order to be able to do this, you have to go to the source of the process in which you use these judgments: perception > judging/interpreting > feeling > hold on to or get rid of feeling. Then you make the choice to no longer endlessly repeat this pattern in an attempt to make it true to yourself, but to let go of your investment in it and offer your perception to your inner Self.