Keeping your appointments

Personalities have invented an interesting and widely used tool: keeping your appointments. At first you put a lot of effort in describing what the appointment should be. And then you "may expect" that everybody involved will keep its part, preferably exactly as it is described. Eh, how often did it work out like that? A wild guess: only a very small amount of times. And still, time after time the idea of keeping appointments is entertained with an almost childlike naivety that it is going to work out fine this time. Because you have described it perfect, it is all written down on paper, everybody involved is fit for the job, the time schedule is fine, etcetera.

Now to make sure that everybody will do its share, personalities have a lot of interesting tools to nail other people down to the appointments made, including the right to put their back against the wall. You often have to be very inventive yourself to be able to take care of your part of the deal. And when someone does not keep his part (or only partially) it is a fine source for judgment and blaming (and feeling better yourself by doing that). Now be not surprised when iduring the day you find yourself heavily involved in comparing yourself to others, schedules, appointments and other limitations, only to reestablish the idea that you are right (because your personality is convinced that you are right, and he has a lot of evidence to prove that).

Now what you are really doing, is making appointments and establishing goals your only reality. Thus limiting yourself and others to a kind of "appointment machines". Appointments and goals are some of the favourite tools of personalities. But no one is "only" a personality. And where is it written that because you have made an appointment, rule or deal, that it actually has to happen according to that description?

Your personality has some very convincing evidence to maintain your loyalty to these ideas: "that otherwise nothing happens", "that the other person get away with it too easily", "this way it will not work out", "old-fashioned", "I have to meet deadlines myself" and lots of other ones. Now seen from his point of view this does make sense: when you proclaim personalities as the only factor in your life and you would choose to not listen to its input, nothing would happen.
And when someone else does not do what you two agreed upon and he or she could get away with it without any penalty, this whole principle would be undermined at once, and fat chance that now you are the bad guy because something has not been taken care of, and this is could become even worse when now you have to do it yourself.

Now what your personality makes you overlook, is that your personality is only one aspect of you, and that not paying attention to it, does not imply that there is nothing left. Because you can choose to have your inner Self to be your source of inspiration. And when you do that, you will still find yourself doing things, only they come from a different source: inspiration, rather than reasoning and controlling.

So make it easy on yourself. Make a change in cause and effect. When you have a different approach towards appointments, you will get other experiences (and it does not work the other way around, you do not get your other experiences first to convince you to change your point of view). Take an appointment for granted, see it as an indicator. Use every diversion of the results to become aware of the fact that the world of your personality is not a truth within itself. Learn to accept that the actual grip of your personality on all kinds of situations is much less than he wants you to believe. That there are other ways to feel good rather than at the expense of others who "thus" have to be wrong. You will learn to remember that by opening up for the remembrance of your inner Self, you will experience an inner Peace that does not depend on others or outer circumstances, you will deal with all kinds of situations in a much more relaxed way, and you will learn that inspiration is a fine alternative for being in control.

By the way, lots of problems stem from expectations that are not met, and appointments that are not kept. No doubt that you will have a lot of examples in your own love- and family life, when you work on a project, with people who deliver things to you, etc. And courts of justice, mediators, collecting agencies and lots of other people have made it their business to support personalities who want to establish the righteousness of their appointments. Others, like this site, have made it their job to support your inner Self to have yourself be inspired by your inner Self in such situations.